No Control

Greeting earthlings,

Have you ever gotten really emotional for no reason? Like, you can't pinpoint why your eyes are leaking? And if someone asks you if everything is alright, you just want to loudly boo-hoo EVERYWHERE? Well that was me yesterday! LOL. I literally was on a emotional roller coaster. 

I felt every emotion. I went from happy to optimist to self-motivating to complete despair all before 3 pm. SMH. In reality, I don't know what I was upset about. Of course, life will be life and it WILL get harder! I guarantee. It took me almost a whole 24 hours later to realize why this mysterious river flowed from my bright eyes. And here are the reasons why:

1. Literally, life! If its not one thing, its another. 

2. My time is really limited. I'm always rushing from one place to another. You'll only see me here and there. I'm committed to so many things right now. So work work don't stop! 

3. I'm sleep deprived. I usually don't get home until 10 or 11pm at night on average, which means I'm not going to sleep until 2am. Consecutively doing this kills my spirit every morning. I swear I hate getting up in the mornings. 

4. School is a bleeping beast! School, I hate you. You're hard, demanding, and time-consuming. However, I feel that being here and doing this is apart of my destiny. So I'm going to keep rocking until the wheels fall off. Lol. Consider you conquered. 

5. I finished my summer class that I absolutely loved. I'm not going to know what to do with my Tuesday nights. 

6. PEOPLE. GET. ON. MY. NERVES. Like, ya'll leave me alone!!! LOL. My circle is unbelievable small. I ask myself DAILY why do I continue to mess with these people. I can't continue to put up with selfish, negative people. However, all I can do is keep it 100 and work on myself daily. It is frustrating having a one-sided conversation with someone whom talks only about themselves. Then never asks you how you're doing, how your day was, or anything of that nature. Move around please. 

7. Finally, I realized that I have been living in Texas for ONE YEAR on August 17th. I packed everything I owned and made the leap. I started my new student orientation, moved into my apartment, broke up with my boo, lost a few friends and have experienced so many other things. Positive and negative. BUT LOOK AT ME NOW. Thank you Lord, for deliverance!!! I should have been dead in my grave. I should have been a Langston graduate working at Wal-Mart. But in all seriousness... I'm grateful for all the progress. I'm grateful for all the bullets I dodged. Like, thank you crazy people for dismissing yourself. 

The list can go on and on. However, all of these things helped me cleanse my soul. Throughout all of these tears, I was able to smile.

Peace ya'll.

-Linds

Liquid Damage

Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I overcame the biggest fear that I have here....

July 26, 2016 

Today started off like no other. I arose early to get ready for school, work, class and all that good stuff. And of course, who wants to go to work? I'll wait. The real question is who HAS to go to work? Definitely me! So I finally get to the lab and begin whipping my bricks... *not really, its just sounds cool LOL but you're free to use your imagination and think I live this lifestyle* I have to use the restroom REALLY bad! I stop what I'm doing, take off my los guantes (gloves), lab coat, and everything else that's restricting me so I can do a race to the restroom. Well, let's consider it a very quick power walk. I get to the restroom and proceed to handle my business... Until I heard a "THUD"..... *heart stops* Immediately, I look down and see this precious, indispensable tool used as my only means of communication. Before I could fully think, I reached in the awful public bacteria playground considered a toilet and pulled that expensive ass phone out of that bacteria dungeon, I wash my hands and fix myself before frantically returning to the lab to search for the strongest antibacterial solution and a desiccator (an apparatus used to keep things dry). I douse my entire phone and myself with 200 proof ethanol!!!!! For those who don't know what ethanol is, its a type of alcohol used to disinfect and kill bacteria, only laboratory grade. Maybe thats why this doesn't work ahaha! Bump some liquid damage, this phone and I have ETHANOL DAMAGE LMAO. 
Alcohol errrrwhere.

Moral of the Story:

Dropping my phone in the toilet has been one of my biggest fears for a loooonnng time. As if it were the worst thing on Earth. However, after going through this situation, I understand that even when you think things are going bad in life or experience unexpected situations, God is still on your side. I was so scared because I live in another state BY MYSELF. Someone could have taken me or something, which I highly doubt lmao. I'm on that cake diet so I'll remain un-kidnapped! I use my phone as my alarm clock and calendar so how am I going to get up and handle my business?! BUT GOD! I set my old fashioned alarm clock and put on my wrist watch! Its possible! All things are possible through CHRIST! So everything is cool! 

I was too sad to not be able to connect with others but I don't like talking to people anyway, so ITS ALL GOOD! This situation has been a blessing in disguise because I haven't been distracted by technology. So, in closing, go into every situation with an open mind knowing that God won't let you know. His grace, love, and mercy are abundant and sufficient. 

Peace ya'll! 

-Linds

Finger Exercise

Greeting Earthlings!

My fingers need some exercise! I've been super busy and its not going to stop anytime soon. 

On the way home yesterday, I thought to myself, "I wish I had someone waiting on me at home with some hot, homemade food." Then I realized that I live by myself! HA! I have to do everything myself. *sad face* My next thought was, "If I ever get married, I hope that man is domesticated lmao. In fact, that's a must!" I have so many things going on: school, work, research, bills... I have RESPONSIBILITIES. I'm gone for about 12-16 hours a day sometimes. I literally have no time to interact with the opposite sex. If its not about business, we're not talking... Of course, with a few exceptions. 

All of this thinking made me realize that relationships are vital. Most importantly, the love we all desire does not have to be given by a significant other (etc. boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife). Every person that we come into contact with has formed some type of relationship. Don't be so keen on finding a particular kind of relationship. Let the moment take place and allow time for things to flourish patiently.  Trust me, you have all you need at this moment!

I've been itching to finish reading "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman! Its a book that sheds light on how to love and how to be loved. I believe this book is a wonderful read due to the fact that it may help me change my skewed perspective on loving people. Its soooo hard, ya feel me?  It's okay to LOVE! It doesn't have to be a sensual type of love! It can be the "I care about your well-being" type of love or "I care to see you make it in life" type of love. 

All in all, take time out of your day to be genuine and love on someone today. Share a laugh or spread some encouragement. May Patience have her perfect work in your life! 

Peace and good vibes guys. 

Linds

Listen...

July 7, 2016

In the past two days, there have been 4 people murdered in cold blood by law enforcement. I couldn't imagine the precious, red, God-given, purposeful blood leaking out of my body due to someone else's lack of patience while holding authority. I have had a few interesting experiences with the justice system in America. Fortunately, God's grace and mercy has been plentiful in my life. I am forever grateful. 

We JUST celebrated Independence Day. Well, you guys did. I dare not to wear a red, white, or blue combination of anything.... Ever! I know that I am not truly free.... On Earth. However, I am knowledgeable of the promised abundance of free reign, peace, love, and all the desires of my heart in Heaven. With that being said, WE KNOW AS AFRICAN AMERICANS, that we are up against a lot. Our past alone has shown that we have been SOLD short of what we deserve. Equality. Love. Freedom. 

I have been reflecting on we can do to solve this problem. We could be police officers, lawyers, politicians, teachers, etc., to change the culture of these professions. To help them realize that WE DON'T HAVE TO BEG TO BE TREATED WELL!!!!! We shouldn't have to CONVINCE, PERSUADE, COAX, or REASON with anyone. To teach them that we are DESERVING of coming home to our families every night. 

Instead, we as a people, NEED TO HAVE OUR SHIT TOGETHER!!!! 

***I'm not saying that the people who have lost their lives deserve what happened because their shit was not together. They did not deserve the be treated like that! 

What I am saying is, we need to understand our worth! We know that we're the target. These police officers search for PEOPLE LIKE US to target, harass, ticket, and disrespect. We cannot change what THEY do. We can only work on us. Let's make sure that we do everything RIGHT! Because we don't have the opportunity to not use our signal light while turning, or sell CD's/DVD's in our communities. We're experiencing modern day Jim Crow Laws. We are SMART! We are CONQUERORS! We are STRONG! Let's unite, get educated, and make sure that we don't give anyone a reason to allow ANYONE to tear us down. If you see anyone going down the wrong path, GUIDE them. LOVE them. HELP them! 

Feel passionate. Do not feel discouraged nor powerless. Feel motivated. You are here because of God and his PURPOSE for your life. He used these people to spark a fire in YOU! 

Peace and love! 

- A young black sista with purpose! 

Please Stay Tuned...

I needed a new start. Something discreetly objective. Unbiased. Showing emotional intelligence. I've wiped everything clean. My heart, my mind, and my blog. My thoughts are no longer the same. I'm growing. From the concrete a vibrant Lindsay plant has begun to sprout.

As I begin my the journey of collecting my thoughts in one place, I understand my goal. Log in, release, log out, decompress. My desire is to be as genuine as possible. 

Deep down inside, I yearn for others to have the ability to relate to my work. However, there is still a part of me that is unwilling to share. I pray for progress. 

Peace and Love, 

Linds